I started with an "Anxiety Screening Test". As I answered the questions, I became more and more confident of my distinct lack of anxiety. "I'm going to pass this test for sure," I thought to myself.
And then I got the results.
I passed, all right. Except...
You have answered this anxiety screening in such a way as to suggest that you are not likely currently suffering from an anxiety disorder. However, this little degree of anxiety may actually be a sign of too little anxiety in your life. Individuals who score in this low range sometimes indicate that they may be detached from themselves, others, or their environment. Typically this is not healthy for most and should be avoided. You can help yourself by making a more concerted effort to become reattached to significant others and your environment. You should not take this as a diagnosis or recommendation for treatment in any way, though.
I took this to mean, "OH MY GOD YOU'RE A PSYCHOPATH!!!!" A little concerned, I decided to take another test, this time going for the "Autism/Asperger's Test". After all, I'm a little anti-social, but not autistic or anything.
That's what I thought, anyway. I got that I am quite possibly autistic given my ineptitude in social situations. Not that I should take it as a diagnosis or anything.
By then I started to get concerned. I mean, these tests are saying I'm an autistic psychopath! I decided to try a "Am I Manic?" Quiz. Even if perhaps I don't feel emotions and I can't understand other people, surely I'm not manic. Manic people are the ones that run around in fits of ecstasy frothing at the mouths, right?
Turns out I'm bordering on a manic episode. Wonderful. Just wonderful.
I decided to take one last test, a "Do I Need Therapy?" one. And this is what I got:
It would be advisable and likely beneficial for you to seek further diagnosis from an experienced, trained mental health professional soon to help you with the problem behaviors and feelings you're experiencing.
You can often obtain a referral for a qualified professional in your area from your family doctor or by consulting your employer's insurance plan. We do not make recommendations for specific mental healthcare professionals.
I am getting a bit worried here. I always thought I was a relatively normal girl, not a manic, autistic psychopath in desperate need of psychotherapy. Whoops?