Bad Decisions Part 1

I have a bit of a history when it comes to bad decisions. Now, I don't mean getting drunk or high or pregnant, but more like... well, you'll see.

Bad Decision #1: Ordering Clothes. While shopping online is convenient, I've always preferred shopping in person. Sometimes that pretty sweater actually makes you look like a fat, colorful elephant, and sometimes "size 2" means "size 8" (and vice versa), so I find it important to try everything on first.

Unfortunately, I do not always have this luxury. If you've read this blog for a while, you know I love math almost as much as writing and that I compete seriously in many different contests. The math team I'm on often requires wearing specific t-shirts for these competitions with our school name and logo and such, so it comes to the dreaded question: "What size do you want to order?"

Generally, I'm a small. But for some brands, small means that they're made for dwarves. Tiny dwarves that use thimbles as coffee mugs and my inhaler as an ocean. (I do find them there sometimes, wearing bikinis that only they and models could ever fit in.) In those cases, I have to get a medium.

The thing with ordering, though? You don't get to check. Most of my friends who are a small as well just take their chances and get a small. But not me. I'm paranoid. I can't order something knowing that there is a possibility the hem of the shirt will float somewhere around my belly button, and so I get a medium.

And it turns out that "small" means "large", and guess what "medium" means? Not just extra-large but extra-extra-read-all-about-it-large. It turns into a freaking Snuggie.

Actual photo of me next to the t-shirt.

The t-shirt's collar, designed to hug your nose or thereabouts, showed cleavage on me. Or it would have if I actually had anything there. (Thanks, DNA.) The end of the "short" sleeve drooped a couple inches past my fingers, and the hem, rather than hovering near my belly button, hung out with my Converse sneakers.

My friends skipped around in their slightly baggy t-shirts while I trudged several yards behind in my racy muumuu. I mean, math t-shirt.

I'll write about bad decision #2 next Tuesday, so look forward to reading about my misery!