My Horrific Printing Adventure

In my astronomy class, we recently had a lab that was due last Tuesday. My group and I completed it ages ago, but then it turned out that we all have to submit an individual copy. Which I didn't know, or else I wouldn't have chucked my copy in the recycle bin.

Thus, I found myself peeking around the door to my teacher's office at 7:50 am. "Um, hi, I need another copy of the lab? Because I misplaced mine? So I need to recopy it?"

I remain amazed at my ability to turn every sentence fragment into a question. It takes talent.

Oh, and one thing you should know. At my school, being late to homeroom is pretty much a sin. If you need a comparison, murdering the president is nearly as bad as being late. And homeroom starts at 8:00.

My teacher took off his coat and hung it on a fancy little coat rack. "Sure. Let me just boot up my computer and I'll print you one."

I sidled into the room, careful not to touch anything. We all know that I'm skilled at breaking things.

He sat at his computer and drummed his fingers on the table while I glanced nervously at my watch. He noticed this and laughed apologetically. "It takes a while to boot up. You know, funny story there - once it took twenty minutes! Hahahaha! Isn't that funny!"

I swallowed and looked at my watch again. 7:51. I had less than nine minutes, because I was literally as far from my homeroom as you can be in the school.

After ages and ages, the log-in finally came up. He attempted to type in his password several times, but each one was met with an angry beep. "Oh, look at that!" he chortled. "I had caps lock on!"

I resisted the urge to sink to my knees, grab my face, and wail, "I'M GOING TO BE LATE!" But at long last, his desktop came.

"Now I just need to click on Word, pull up the document, click print, and we're done!" he said cheerily. He clicked something, and then his eyes widened before he burst into a laugh. "Oh! Now isn't that just hilarious! I clicked on the wrong thing! And would you believe it? I selected the physics software, which you can't x-out of until it fully loads, which takes ten minutes!"

Seven years later, my teacher happily informed me that the physics software had JUST finished loading, and he x'd out. He finally got the right document pulled up and announced, "Time to print!"
The printer made a few tentative humming noises.

Then it exploded.

I looked at my watch and fainted.